


Mind If I Ask You Something?

by LorettaFryingPan



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-01
Updated: 2011-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:45:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LorettaFryingPan/pseuds/LorettaFryingPan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You traveled with him. I'd like to talk to you about it. (Or: The tune is the same, but the words are different)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mind If I Ask You Something?

**Author's Note:**

> This started as my reflecting on what the companions are, and I realized that their stories are all quite similar in the broad sense. It's the details, the things that you would ask ("how did you meet him?") that differ. I hope it pleases.

Do you remember what you were doing, the day everything changed?

Maybe you were running late, or got lost. Maybe you were minding your own business, going about your mundane life, and your job went down in flames. Maybe you were on your way to your wedding. Maybe you were waiting to die.  
Maybe you were just curious about that new student in your class.

Do you remember at all?

No matter what you were doing, or whether you even remember that day, you certainly remember the stranger. There was always something odd about him, wasn’t there? No matter how well he seemed to fit in, there was always one little thing that you couldn’t quite pinpoint that made him seem strange. Like that flicker in the corner of your eye that you see every time you look in a mirror, there was something off about him, and it made you curious.

Or did you not have time to notice his strangeness? Was the first thing you noticed his flyaway hair, the chill of his hands against yours, the elegant coat, or the ridiculous scarf? Did he grin and tell you to run? What did he do that entranced you?  
Because you and I are both aware that he entranced you, or we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Even if you didn’t think you were going to see him again, you were definitely thinking about him, trying to puzzle him out, wondering who he was and why he did what he did.

Did you see him again, before you went with him? Was he looking for you, or did you happen to run into each other? Did he show up at your door, surprised to see you living there? Or did you look for him?

What ordeals did you face together, when you were still trying to figure out who he was? Maybe you ran over bridges together. Maybe you overcame your own fears, your own preconceptions, to be with him. Because you were attracted to him, for the same reasons he enchanted you when you met.

How did you come to travel with him? Did he ask you to come with him? Did he even ask, or did you sneak on board? Did he even have to ask, or did he just assume you were coming along?

Did he ask you twice?

Why did you say yes? Were you looking for adventure, riches? Maybe you were just looking for a way home. Maybe you wanted to see everything that was out there, everything that he wanted to show you. Maybe he saved your life, and you wanted to repay him. Maybe you wanted to look after him, keep him out of trouble.  
Maybe you looked into his eyes, and saw how old they were. Maybe you didn’t want to b alone, even though you had responsibilities.  
Maybe you even rejected him. How long did it take you to realize how big of a mistake that was?

Where did he take you first? Your future? Your past? Did you even end up where you had planned on going? Maybe he took you to a city, or maybe he brought you to a little village. Did you even stay on Earth?

Did you have to run? How far? How fast? Were you being threatened? Maybe you were trying to be polite, and instead committed some huge faux pas. Maybe he was the rude one. Maybe they just didn’t like the way you looked that day. Did you get injured? Did he? Did you ever go back there?

When did you realize you had undertaken this huge journey with a complete stranger? Maybe you had been separated, and you were all alone. Maybe he got angry, and you saw for the first time how alien he was. Maybe you brought up an innocent topic, and he closed off completely.

When did you start asking him personal questions? When did you stop? Why? Did you have to, or did he answer them, making repetition foolish?  
What did you leave behind? Did you leave anything? A mother, or a boyfriend, or a fiancée? Did you have a job? Were you able to call them, contact them in any way? Did you want to?

Did you ever visit home? Maybe you did, under some pretense or another. Maybe it all just got to be too much sometimes. Maybe you just wanted to sit in front of the television with a cuppa and not have to worry about anything except what was for dinner that night. Did he come with you? Did your family know who he was, if he even let you explain? Did your family accept him? Were they happy to see him when you both came by? Were you able to coax him into staying with you?

When did you realize the scope of it all? Were you in the middle of some grand adventure, or were you sitting on a rickety chair eating chips when it struck you? Maybe it felt like you were outside of your own body, looking not only at yourself but also at the entire universe. Maybe it was like those days when you think you can feel the very Earth turning beneath your feet. Did you smile extra wide when you saw him again?

What sorts of habits did you get into? Probably not many of them, given his distaste for the domestic. But think really hard. Did you always make tea in the mornings? Did he hold your coat when you put it on? Could you hear him whistle the same little tune when he fixed his ship? Maybe you sat together in the library, and he would read books in strange languages and laugh at jokes you would never understand. Maybe he would read to you. Maybe he would tell you the same thing every time you needed encouragement.

Did you fight his battles? Did you ever meet one of his old enemies and face off against them? Why did you fight? Were you being threatened, or was it for him? Maybe he had been hurt, and you wanted to protect him. Maybe you were just protecting yourself. Did you ever think that maybe you might die?

Who did you meet? Did they change you? Did they change him? Did you make friends? Did you make enemies? Maybe there were people who helped you, who wanted the same things you did. Maybe you used them. Maybe they used you. Maybe they paid the ultimate price to help you. Do you remember their names?

Was there a time when you wanted to just stop? To just go home and stop running? Maybe you felt this way more than once. Maybe you never told him. Maybe you did. Maybe you dragged him inside with you, made him settle down for a week.

Did he hurt you? Did he ever yell at you and make you feel like an idiot? Maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you made one of the worst mistakes you could ever make, and endanger hundreds, thousands or millions of people. Maybe you wept, not just because you never intended this to happen, but also because he was angry with you. Did he ever injure you? Did he just use angry words and angrier silences? Did he leave you waiting for him, unsure if he would ever return? Maybe he ran from you, trying to avoid explaining why he could no longer bear to speak with you.

Did you hurt him? Did you ever get so angry with him, so sad or frustrated, that you lashed out like a cornered beast? Did you ever turn his words back at him like knives, and take pleasure when they cut?

How did you apologize to one another? Maybe he never said anything, instead opting to show his remorse with hugs or small tokens. Maybe you apologized in a small voice, simply and without trying to explain yourself. How quickly did you forgive each other? Maybe there was a scar left, and you chose to tend it instead of ignore it. Maybe you didn’t.

What were you willing to give up for him? Were you willing to give up anything at all? Did you wander a savage planet, constantly under fear of attack, to find him and help him? Maybe you were willing to give your life. Maybe you did give your life. Maybe you let yourself burn for him, immolate yourself in his stead. Did he gaze at you then, in your burning brightness, and fear you? Did he shrink from the power you wielded to protect him? Was he aghast at what you would let yourself become so that he would not have to?

 

Did you love him?

How did you love him? Did he love you in return, and in the way you wanted? Were you disappointed when he didn’t, couldn’t?

Do you remember what you were doing, the day everything ended? Maybe you wanted it to end, because it all got to be too much. Maybe you were just going about your lives, when someone finally went too far. Maybe there was a battle, maybe there wasn’t. Did you even get to say goodbye? Did you get to say all you wanted? Did he?

And after all of that, how did you carry on? How did you pick up the pieces and keep going? How long did you cry?

 

 

Looking at everything, all you’ve done and seen, all the good and bad things you’ve experienced, there’s only one thing left to wonder:

Was it worth it?


End file.
